Pit Tip: How to Clean Your Pits Like a Man
First off, ladies, don’t get all excited that we’re actually going to clean our pits with the likes of soap and water or anything. No pit master worth his tongs would perpetrate such foolery as that. Because its basic pit fact that the greasier and grimier our pits are, the better the food tastes. Whence that nasty grunge has conspired on the inner walls of our beloved grills, a little more seasoned they have become. We patrons of the pit wear our grimy muck like badges of honor. But we do on occasion however need to dispose of the ashes. Because built up ashes restrict the airflow our pits were engineered for. And restricted air flow is like losing the temperature knob on you’re stove top or oven. So the ashes have got to go. Here is a great way to do that.
Every pit should come with its own built-in Shop Vac we think. For there were times I’d wheel over the garbage can and just invert my grills and ash pans over it. The result naturally resembled something akin to loitering on the flanks of Mount St Helens after a modest eruption. Whence I emerged from the cloud of ash, hacking and wheezing, I always figured there had to be a better way than this. My bride hoped for that too, every time I’d come inside, and want to sit on the couch. Then one day, I started sucking my pits out with the Shop Vac, and man, that made life amid the ashes at once a manly pleasure worthy of the pits of which I have soiled. A utopia of grandiose suckage devoid of ashen clouds. Sucking them out like this is especially the way to go if you’re a big green egg user, or any of the other heavy ceramic pits, where upon ashes reside deep in the bottom caverns, where no man was ever really intended to go. Like wise with other awkward pits or ash pans. A mere swipe or two of your Shop Vac hose, and your pits are at once refreshed, and the proper air flow returns. Line your vacuum with a plastic bag for even easier clean up. An elementary slam dunk in the grilling games, and could hardly be more fun.
So, if you haven’t sucked your pit yet, well, your missing out on one of BBQ’s simpler victories. Something difficult to appreciate I know, from the vantage patron to a gray cloud of settling ash…
Be good to your pits people!
*Make sure all your coals are completely cold, of course, before engaging in this activity.