Two Men, Two Pits and a Blog

How To Support Your Team Without Being There: Remote Tailgating

I wasn’t really planning on grilling. It’s not like I have to do it every day or anything.  But if your wife brings home some afterfocus_1364258870716_edit0meat and asks you to grill it, well, isn’t it then our manly privilege to make it so. To ignite fire and lay the meat to it with a caveman-like ease born of the ebbing seasons, hunkered over a smoldering pit. No, it is no hardship to grill if called upon by the fairer species. To ply our craft upon unruly meats with the sweeping efficiency of a chess grand master.  No meat is out range for an accomplished keeper of the flame.  No cut too challenging. “Bring it on!”, I yammered. And she did. My bride henceforth pulled from the grocery bag a lowly pack of ball park franks. Beef franks, as it were. Well, leastwise that’s what it said on the package. Not what I was expecting really, but fair enough. I was not above roasting the humble wiener if need be, to secure supper upon my plate. In some ways I was rather looking forward to it. I was feeling nostalgic you could say.

Once upon a time, you see,  in every grill junkie’s past, he had to start somewhere. That first step unto a brighter future, and a meatier ideal. And for many of us, that point of embarkation into the BBQ sciences started with the lowly hot dog. And make no mistake,  it was an event. It gave us reason to cater to a particular need, seeded deeply within our man psyche. The need to occasionally put meat to flame, and declare that is good.  The poetry here has less to do with the meat, if you can call a tube steak – meat, but more to do with the soul engaging still, over a beautiful bed of coals, and the freshened air out there, and the gentle sunbeams which wax upon thy face. Hot dogs are OK, but the real joy is in the journey. If after all, our only goal was to eat them, then we might as well nuke them in the microwave, and be done in 30 seconds. But we’re partial to the scenic path around here. The slower ways. Come with us now, won’t you, and let’s go back to BBQ kindergarten and roast some weenies on the grill!

Residing pit side whilst supper cooks is one of my most favorite things to do. I love to tip back in my BBQ chair, legs crossed like a gentleman of leisure, and simply watch the day turn by. To enjoy how the clouds slowly idle overhead, and the tweety birds make their acrobatic sorties to the feeders brimming with seed. If there is a fairer way to roast a wiener, I’ve not heard of it. To up the ante a tad, I dialed in the Twins game on the little radio I keep by the pit. Figured if I was going to do some dogs, I might as well do it right, and partake in a little tailgating too. The conditions begged for it. Remote tailgating, I call it. That lofty, yet abiding gesture to the sporting gods, when you’d like to be there supporting your team with your grill all fired up, but you lack the honest desire to drive down to the stadium, and pay for parking there. A little remote tailgating is thus you’re next best option, and couldn’t be more pleasant, out on your own private patio, the serenade of song birds, and a homey bathroom harboring a few back issues of your favorite periodicals. Some thing not privy to a cold stadium parking lot.


Glory be to the remote tailgater, for you are a curious lot indeed. Nary leaving the house, feet kicked up by a smoking pit, listening to the play-by-play banter on the radio.  Hark, you can almost hear the crack of the bat, and the leathery thwack of a fastball to the catcher’s mitt. The murmur of the crowds morphing  into a boiling frenzy, at a crack deep to the warning track. Indeed, it’s almost like being there. Almost. The aromas of ball park franks drifting past your nose don’t hurt the illusion none either. And the same golden sunlight that is cast upon the field of dreams yonder, falls with great poetry upon your fair patio too, miles removed,  where the chickadees cavort in the fragrant spruce, and the wood smoke lingers in the shafts of a pastel sun. Man.


So next time you can’t make it to the big game,  why not whip up some dogs on the grill, whilst partaking in a little remote tailgating.  There are other ways to support your team I guess, but none quite so pleasant, nor privileged, than these the glories,  patron to the pit. Amen.


21 responses

  1. Sometimes the simpler, easiest foods are perfect and these look delicious! I may have to go out and get some to throw on our own grill tonight! 🙂 Yum!

    April 15, 2013 at 9:31 am

    • Well any excuse to fire up the grill, I always say. For time spent grilling is never wasted!

      April 15, 2013 at 9:38 am

      • So true. I’m so looking forward to trying some of your recipes and techniques!

        April 15, 2013 at 9:40 am

  2. I’ve been craving dogs, brats, or burgers on the grill myself. Simple, easy, quick.

    April 15, 2013 at 9:47 am

    • Yup, sometimes that’s just the way to go. Any time we fire up the grill is a good time.

      April 15, 2013 at 10:10 am

  3. Nothing wrong with a well grilled (or smoked for that matter) hot dog.

    April 15, 2013 at 10:47 am

    • Well it ain’t no brisket flat, but every once in a while it does taste good for a change.

      April 15, 2013 at 10:55 am

  4. … not to mention LESS EXPENSIVE!!!
    We went to the last day of Spring training up in Scottsdale and we spent in total (parking, 2 tickets, 2 beers, 2 soft drinks, 2 pretzels, 2 peanuts, 1 sweet potato fries and 2 dawgs) well over $100 !!! Can you say on the laptop? Enjoy my friend…

    April 15, 2013 at 12:07 pm

    • I know, its nuts isn’t it? I’ve often thought about doing that thing. Sounding like the way to go maybe.

      April 15, 2013 at 2:07 pm

  5. There is no shame in the humble frankfurter. Paired with a tasty assortment of toppings, there is a simple joy to a properly cooked hot dog.

    April 15, 2013 at 5:11 pm

  6. debbeedoodles

    Nothing like grilled tube steak!!

    April 15, 2013 at 8:11 pm

  7. Getting my weber kettle ready and I want to start grilling. I really love hot dogs, simple yes but still delicious. I was imagining what the wife was going to pull out of the bag, thinking London Broil, flank, skirt and I had to laugh when you said Franks. They look wonderful!

    April 15, 2013 at 8:45 pm

    • Well, I was thinking along the same lines when she reached into the bag. Oh well. Some times a good dawg hits the spot.

      Do let us know how your next grilling goes!

      April 15, 2013 at 8:53 pm

  8. Yes, there’s nothing like a plebeian hot dog to rekindle the basics and why you do what you do in the first place. And while they may be boiled, steamed, baked or nuked; you just can’t beat them crisped by a real wood fire. Grill on brothers. Grill on.

    April 16, 2013 at 3:42 pm

    • Well put, as always. All there really needs to be is flame and something to cook over it, and in that alone I am happy. A simple poetry, if you will.

      April 16, 2013 at 9:13 pm

  9. I am really looking forward to spring getting in full bloom so I can properly break out my grill and follow some of these guides.

    April 16, 2013 at 3:56 pm

    • Ah yes, what is it like to tarry by the pit comfortably? Its been a while indeed. Luckily we like winter grilling just as well. Well, most days anyways.

      April 16, 2013 at 9:11 pm

  10. German sausage is popular over here in Oz, ( huge influx of early German migrants) and there’s nothing like putting a few snags on the barbie. The term now is having a sausage sizzle, very polite. I prefer the old English slang term for them, ‘Widow’s memories.’ I hope it’s not a family site? Grilling the bun or bread roll is the most important part, when its done right it adds that, hmm, tasty feel. That pic looks good guys, I think I’ve had my calories for the day just looking at it.

    April 22, 2013 at 6:22 am

    • Sounds like a most lovely time over there in Oz, having sausage sizzles and umm, widow memories! Golly.

      Thanks Laurie!

      April 22, 2013 at 10:26 am

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