Two Men, Two Pits and a Blog

Dirty Birds and Hamburgers

They were cute once, iffin you didn’t already know it. My beloved tweety birds which dart about the pond-side pit here, happy-go-lucky, flirtatious, and like I say, cute. But this ash birdsmorning as I stepped out on the patio, beverage in hand, I find a gaggle of them floundering fancy in the ash pan residing beneath the old kettle grill. Flopping about there, doing their best wildebeest impressions, antics oft reserved for the dusty plains of Botswana. Their little feathers cloaked in ashen debris, kicking up little gray clouds of it, which scattered in the morning breeze. What a bunch of goof balls, I thunk. Rolling around like pigs in the mud. Like puppies in the grass. Like grown men in the ball pit at the Burger King. They were having a good time at it too, and I nary could convince them otherwise. But then again, I wasn’t trying to.

I’ve long admired blokes, you see, who make the best of things. When your bird bath is as dry and filthy as a Weber ash pan, and you look like a bird who has just endured a volcanic blast, yet you still frolic with great and unbridled enthusiasm, well my hat is off to you little bird. Not conformed by conventional thinking or naysay, but emboldened perhaps, by the clichΓ© cup of lemonade that awaits you – you made the best of things, and you did so with the least of things. You did it with a pile charcoal ash. I guess they were just washing themselves, or something akin. Tweety birdologists could enlighten us, I suppose. But I say if their goal was to get out the other side of this activity cleaner than they began, well, they failed miserably at it. I had me some dirty birds at the pit today. Some very dirty birds indeed.



Anyways, lunch was a trifle cleaner you might say, and probably better tasting too, than tweety birds rolled in ash. We henceforth evicted them of their little health spa, and fired up a chimney of coals. And whilst those coals matured, we sprinkled some of this Cajun Blast Seasoning over two portly patties of 80-20 ground beef. We were burger hungry at the pit today, I cannot deny. But then if you asked us most days what we would fancy, a good hamburger is usually at the top of the list, and rightly so. For they are a rather filling affair of meat and bun. Easy to do. And quick too, if that is how you like to bend. But above all that, burgers are just plain good, and nothing more needs to be said about that.


You all know how to grill a hamburger, so we shan’t prolong here the intricacies of it. A hamburger is personal anyways, as every pit keeper embellishes his or her own unique touch on it. Like a finger print, perhaps, no two burgers are the same. A burger proper is but a reflection of your mood that day. Some days you’re feeling spicy, other days just plain. Some days you’ll hanker for the works, plucking everything and anything out of the refrigerator door. While still other days, you’ll just stick a fork in your burger and eat it like meat Popsicle. It’s all good in Burgerville, and that is precisely what makes them so wonderful.

We tossed some cherry wood into the coals for to smoke there, and brought the burgers to a state of well done, just before of course, toasting the buns. We almost always toast our buns, if but to add that extra texture so lovely in a hamburger. Then melted some medium cheddar cheese as a matter of course, added a slice of tomato from the garden folds, and lastly, and totally fueled by impulse here, squirted a shot of Thousand Island-like salad dressing on the bottom bun. Man!

As I plated up, sunbeams swept across the green lawn. Clouds the shape of pork chops and wiener dogs idled overhead, and a gentle breeze with subtle kisses of autumn mingled through the fluttering tree tops. Tomatoes ripening before thine eyes. Bean plants sprawling. Honey bees buzzing. The ninth inning of summer was going strong. And yet another span of moments pit-side, sealed in that smokey vault of memories. Satisfied, my plated spoils in hand, I stepped into the house, sliding the screen door shut behind me. And just then, and rather out the woodwork, three little tweety birds fluttered up on my six, and with a cheerful chirp, lit again into their hallowed ash pile- floundering around there in little gray clouds stretched by the wind. I smiled quietly. What can you do. I had some dirty birds on my hands today, and that’s all there is about it. But they were cute once, I tell you, they really were. Come to think of it, they still are I guess. And burgers are always good. Amen.



32 responses

  1. Birds rummaging through ash, well they obviously knew something really delicious had dropped in there and braved the soot to mine for gold.

    September 10, 2014 at 10:43 am

  2. Burgers are indeed always good, but that burger there looks much better than good! You are an artist indeed, my friend!

    September 10, 2014 at 10:47 am

    • Well I don’t know about that, but it sure was tasty!

      Good morning, John and Mary!

      September 10, 2014 at 10:51 am

  3. Those birds have obviously been following your blog and smelling the aromas from your grill. They aren’t stupid… πŸ˜‰
    We had burgers this passed weekend too, can’t wait to post about what we did to them!

    September 10, 2014 at 11:00 am

    • Yeah I’m sure they have Wifi in their nest!
      Looking forward to your burger post!

      September 10, 2014 at 11:06 am

  4. I heard something once about birds in general, taking part in the aforementioned dust bath … having to do with parasites. Perhaps they where trying to purge the offending bug hordes …
    As for the Burgers, how can you go wrong ?? Well done Smokie Brutha πŸ™‚

    September 10, 2014 at 3:59 pm

    • I’ve heard that too. I think you might be on to something, old chap. Stands to reason anyways. Not sure how dust purges parasites, but I have heard that. The ever fascinating nature of nature.

      Thanks dude!

      September 10, 2014 at 4:04 pm

      • πŸ™‚ at your service πŸ™‚

        September 10, 2014 at 4:13 pm

  5. Ron Duke

    G’day Patrons, what a lovely story, tweety birds and burgers, life is full of wonderful things. How could you blame your beautiful birds for wanting to bathe in the dust that is obviously enriched with the drippings of meat, the smells wafting from the Weber finally got to them. I do believe today is a great day to make some burger buns and grind some meat, for tonight is burger night. Thank you Patrons for the inspiration. Cheers. Ron.

    September 10, 2014 at 4:15 pm

    • Haha, well put, Ron. Always a good day when you chime in. Thanks for taking the time to do so. And further, good luck with them burgers tonight. All home made too. I like how you operate!

      September 10, 2014 at 4:42 pm

  6. After a long hard day your post and those sweet little birds just made me smile for the first time. And the burger looks amazing too :). Thanks for a great post!!!

    September 10, 2014 at 6:09 pm

  7. laurie27wsmith

    Funnily enough I have just finished taking some pics of Miner birds frolicking in a dust bath. As far as I’m concerned you can’t go wrong with a hamburger, not these excuses for food you get at well I won’t mention the arches. But good, home made, BBQ’ed meat ones. I like a slice of pineapple, beetroot, cheese, tomato and lettuce on mine with a touch of sauce. Bliss. Another good one you Blokes of the Pit.

    September 11, 2014 at 1:28 am

    • Thanks Laurie. You sound to be a burger maestro of the highest degree! I like how you think. And it’s also good to hear you have dirty birds down under too. Yes, I’m currently going with the “purging of parasites” theory as to why they do that. In a round about way, maybe they are getting cleaner.

      September 11, 2014 at 9:58 am

      • laurie27wsmith

        Mate, I love nothing more than a good burger. Not too much salad, just enough, a toasted bun done on the grill, a bit of butter of course. πŸ™‚ yes I think the birds do the dust bath to get rid of lice. All that dust would make the little blighters choke to death. The dust could also dry up excess oil from the feathers?????

        September 12, 2014 at 2:59 am

  8. You guys are killing me……and I friggin’ love it!!

    September 11, 2014 at 3:23 am

  9. Brave birds!

    September 11, 2014 at 2:00 pm

  10. Aw damn. You boys leave me speechless and effing hungry!!!

    September 12, 2014 at 6:16 am

  11. Oh, my dear Patrons, clearly I have become too deeply immersed in the hunting lifeedstyle! When your story started about the sweet birds…. and ended with burgers… I scrutinized the burger more closely to be sure it didn’t have wings. Just one more downside to being the Deerslayer’s Wife! As always, your burger looks wonderful. The toasted bun… that’s what I’m talkin’ about.

    September 13, 2014 at 8:20 am

    • Youre a witty one! Thats good humor, Mrs Deerslayer. Lessen you’re a tweety bird I suppose. Now I do get some ducks waddling around here, which could be a different story. One more worthy of Deerslayer status.

      September 13, 2014 at 11:42 pm

  12. Those little fellas are indeed cute. The gold finches, nuthatches and house finches and are my constant pit side companions here as well. being a lover of all things wild, they always seem to round out the outdoor cooking experience for me and all is well with the natural world. Nice looking burger too! I have 3 full days of BBQ coming up, I will be sure to be inspired by you folks again. Cheers!

    September 17, 2014 at 11:11 am

    • Very nice, indeed. Best of luck on your up and coming BBQ campaign. You will be in your element, I’m sure. We get in those stretches too, from time to time, especially on holiday weekends. We practically live off the grill alone. And let it be said, that’s quite the way to live. I love it.

      As always, a privilege it is when you chime in. Thanks Mr Quincho!

      September 18, 2014 at 9:45 am

  13. Liking the blog, everything looks good! Nice to find a fellow Q’er blogging for the masses!

    September 18, 2014 at 8:01 pm

    • Hey, thank you kindly for that. Yes we must keep the fires burning for what is good!

      September 19, 2014 at 10:32 am

  14. Reblogged this on THAT DANG OL' SHOW and commented:
    It’s been too long since we shared something from these Pit Patrons! Enjoy

    September 22, 2014 at 1:01 pm

  15. Liz

    Yes, burgers are always good. “A burger proper is but a reflection of your mood that day” is a great motto. As always, your tales of grilling delight!

    September 25, 2014 at 12:11 am

    • Thank you kindly, Liz. Appreciate that. And look out the window, have you noticed….Summer is gone again. Dang time is a swift beast. Aw well.

      September 25, 2014 at 9:23 am

  16. Pingback: Dirty Birds and Hamburgers - Best 2 Buy Outdoor

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