Two Men, Two Pits and a Blog

Superbowl Appetizers: BBQ Wings and Jalapeno Poppers

Well, the Superbowl has come and gone again, and we Americans are a little fatter because of it. Regardless of who won, and who lost, or even if you care nothing at all for football, I have come to realize one unbreakable truth concerning Superbowl Sunday – people will eat a lot! And I mean a lot. The latest math, of which you may have heard circulating about your sphere of influence, was something in the neighborhood of 6000 calories per person. Crikies! Them numbers are like three times what most folk ought to consume in day, and more likely than that to send your doctor’s eyes clear to the back of their head. Still, and even so, who are we to tamper with the annual football feast, let alone tug on tradition’s most unruly cape. Here then are a couple of appetizer recipes to get your calorie count up.

Jalapeno Popper (AKA – Atomic Buffalo Turds – ABT)

abt3

We love these things. And love is an appropriate word, I think. There is a process in making these. A relationship almost. But it is a sad fact for all the pampering that go into making them, that your guests will in turn only suck them down like so many chicken nuggets and nary seem to appreciate the effort nor the ensemble of flavors conspired there upon their palate. You can never make too many poppers, I’ve learned. They will always be consumed. Every last one of them. They are delicious, people, and I’m sure way too high in calories. Which makes them perfect for Super Bowl Sunday. Here is how to make them Patron of the Pit Style.

ABT

Whilst the pit comes up to speed, in a lovely bowl, mix together the following:

  • 1 Cup Onion Chive Cream Cheese ( or what ever flavor inspires you)
  • 1 Cup Shredded Cheddar Cheese
  • 1 teaspoon Garlic Powder
  • 1 teaspoon pepper
  • pinch or two of salt

This amount is good for around 20 poppers. By slicing your jalapeno in half down their length, you only need 10 of them. So halve them length-wise, and remove the pithy core. Void the pepper with adept strokes of a grapefruit spoon, and if you are a sally-tongued Swede like myself, you would do well to remove all the seeds. That and the cooking process seems to be the trick to taming these peppers down. The signature burn of the jalapeno will be a distant fantasy with these poppers. You need not fear. Assemble as seen in the photo above, lastly swaddling them in a tender bacon wrap held stalwart with toothpicks. The toothpicks are key, lest your poppers “pop” apart during the smoke.

Now before we plop them on the pit, let’s get the chicken wings out of fridge and prep them too. They’re simple to do.

Italian BBQ Chicken Wings

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We had a bag of these dudes marinating for about four hours with a bottle of zesty Italian dressing. If you haven’t tried Italian dressing for your marinating needs yet, well you’re missing out. It smells good enough to eat right out of the bag – but don’t, or you’ll be running to the little pit boys room with stunning frequency. You gotta cook em first, sorry. Anyways, then we dusted them over with some home-made all-purpose BBQ rub, and that was that. Time for the pit!

abt2

Oh the heady aromas of chicken and bacon and jalapeno and cheese, roasting dignified over a beautiful bed of coals. We used hickory for our smoke wood, and that was a fine choice, but apple would do well here also. Oak or pecan would too. Shoot, it’s all good at the pit. Most folks never think to cook their jalapeno poppers on the BBQ, and let me tell you, they are missing something out of their lives. They are good out of the oven, and that’s all well and fine, but off the pit, kissed by smoke under a beautiful blue-tinted sky, a popper is point-blank out of this world amazing. You will not regret it. And there after, you’ll never do them in the oven again.

IMG_34441

Shortly after securing the big lid of the WSM, the smoke tendrils began to curl, signifying that glorious time in a pit jockey’s day where he is at once, and undeniably, in his true splendor. That wonderful slot-of-clock where he has nothing in the world to do, save for drawing a manly beverage from the ice box, and finding someplace appropriate to repair. And with our feet propped up, and our gaze not far from the wafting plumes of aromatic hickory or apple wood, there is little question in our minds, nor upon our tongue, that this is exactly where we wish to be, doing precisely that which is well with our soul. We just love it, and there’s no explaining it past that. We just do. We revel, if you will, in a metaphoric Grandma blanket of contentment, where the wood smoke also rises.

We let everything smoke for an hour or so, nay maybe longer than that, and then dabbed on a generous varnish of Sweet Baby Rays Sweet and Spicy. We just hit the wings with it, but you could do the poppers too, if you pleased. Then we let it smoke some more., just because. After a fashionable exchange of time, and prompted by your pit master instincts, plate up your spoils and serve them unto your guests of honor. They will marvel at the hickory scented feast before them, with a chin dampened by anticipatory drool. It ain’t quite 6000 calories, I don’t reckon, but you will have done your part in the journey, at least. And with the potluck help of other like-mined folks amid your Super Bowl Get-Together, disturbingly, you’ll probably get there. We’ll pray for you. Amen.

abt

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28 responses

  1. 6000 calories in one day, thats scary. I can’t imagine how much and what would be consumed to take in that many calories. Yikes,!! Your poppers and wings look amazing!!

    February 6, 2015 at 11:51 am

    • Yeah doesn’t seem possible, does it. That’s what I heard on the radio tho, I dunno, maybe they were pulling my leg. I kind of hope so!

      Many thanks!

      February 6, 2015 at 11:57 am

  2. I love italian dressing for my marinades, and sautes, too!

    February 6, 2015 at 12:37 pm

  3. SoulNeverLies

    I can well imagine it’s true, but even though it sounds like the direct way to a heart attack, I’d die to have this on a plate in front of me now!

    February 6, 2015 at 2:16 pm

    • I reckon. They say the superbowl is the 2nd biggest eating day this side of Thanksgiving.

      Thanks!

      February 6, 2015 at 2:20 pm

      • SoulNeverLies

        Sure, even here in Germany, year after year it turns out more to be like this 🙂

        February 6, 2015 at 2:23 pm

  4. OK, back to the licking of screen business…
    Amazing stuff again gents!

    February 6, 2015 at 2:55 pm

    • That poor screen of yours! Haha, great to hear from you, mate!

      February 6, 2015 at 3:03 pm

  5. When I read your title I thought, “Oh no, here comes someone else trying to get me onto a reduced calorie diet!” Just kidding, but you are not one to talk seeing as how your posts have probably done more to spur “spontaneous consumption” by me than any other blog I regularly read.

    Once again, kudos to a great meal idea. Have a great day! JandM

    February 6, 2015 at 4:27 pm

    • Thanks John! No, one needs the proper calories to deal with the rigors of the Ecuadorian lifestyle. I would not wish a bbq deficiency upon thee! As always, good to hear from you!

      Take care

      February 6, 2015 at 4:49 pm

  6. Yumm, omg those popppers look delish. Too bad you are so far away. 😉

    February 6, 2015 at 5:10 pm

    • I can ship them in the mail, I suppose! But the postal carrier would pilfer the box. You’re just gonna have to make them I guess!

      Take care

      February 6, 2015 at 5:21 pm

  7. I am liking the onion chive cream cheese. Hmmm…

    February 6, 2015 at 9:41 pm

    • Thought it sounded good too. That’s the fun of poppers tho, what ever you’re in the mood for, there seems to be a cream cheese to suit! Thank you sir!

      February 7, 2015 at 1:41 pm

  8. I don’t think you would need a football game to have an excuse to make those poppers. That’s the trouble with snacks, you can shove em down your throat big time. Plus a couple of *cough* beers and it wouldn’t take too long to reach the 6000 calories. I ate a hindquarter of venison over three days years ago, I may have caloried out but it was beautiful.

    February 7, 2015 at 5:37 am

    • Yes indeed, gluttony is a status easily achieved it seems. Aw well. Your venison splurge must have been a fabulous few days! Wow Laurie!

      February 7, 2015 at 1:40 pm

      • Nothing wrong with a little gluttony now and then. 😉 yes the venison was GOOD!

        February 7, 2015 at 2:53 pm

  9. The problem is exaserbated, for sure, by the choice of quenching beverage. These recipes are calories well spent!

    February 7, 2015 at 8:39 am

  10. Two of a kind I suppose, I do the same things with my wings and poppers – but I don’t spit the peppers (although most do), I just pipe in the good stuff with a ziplock bag. All the same, you have me thinking about another round. By the way take a look at this site for WSM mods… As spring approaches you might be tempted as I was. http://www.bbqsmokermods.com/ – they even have a latch for the WSM lid!

    Cheers guys, love to hear from you. I’m due for an entry soon.

    P.S. May I mention I do also pick up a bit of Garrison Keillor in your press. After all he is from your neck of the woods, no? He gets a bit too political for me, but I have wiled away many an hour to the “Prairie Home Companion” show.

    February 7, 2015 at 1:52 pm

    • That’s a great site, Mr Quincho! Many thanks for that. I tell you, many time I wouldn’t mind having a hinge on that big old lid of the 22.5 WSM. But then I suppose the warranty is squelched, if you install it. Might be worth it tho.

      Yes, Garrison is indeed another hero. I forgot about him, but we listen to his show often around here. he’s from St Paul, I think. Or lives there anyways. I’ve long been a fan of his story telling, and of course his writing tends to go along with that. I’ve also been thinking hard about going to see a live show of Prairie Home Companion, before he hangs up his red shoes for good. One of those things you maybe kick yourself later on in life for not having done. I dunno. But yeah, he’s another one.

      And I dunno iffin there is a wrong way to make a popper, cause man them things go down good!

      Take care
      PotP

      February 7, 2015 at 4:37 pm

  11. totally stealing this idea for next year!

    February 9, 2015 at 4:02 pm

  12. Liz

    wow–those look amazing. What a treat for the Superbowl! We had wings, baked not grilled. Did you enjoy the game?

    February 11, 2015 at 12:49 am

    • Thank’s Liz. Yeah, the game was a good one. One of the better Super Bowls in a while, seemed like. And no, I didn’t over eat…much…

      February 11, 2015 at 9:24 am

  13. these look so delicious

    February 11, 2015 at 7:54 am

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